life.

this fall here in the city has been interesting. I've been outside most of the time, meaning not inside studying and my grades can attest to that. but i'm ok with that. I will be a nurse when the end of school comes and as humbly as i can say i'll be a great one, i hope. i have discovered that i love to listen to just sit and have the ultimate privilege to hear what is going on in someones life. for that person to trust me enough to share what is on their heart, their fears, what frustrates them and also what give them joy. I cherish those moments spend with people,whether it's a patient i met that morning or a friend i've known for years, i love it all. and i think that is one of the greatest things that draws me to nursing. if i could i would love to just sit and talk with sick people all day. but i am here procrastinating yet again only wishing i was all done school.

this fall i have been learning that i have a love/hate relationship with hiking. I love the trekking through the forrests, the beauty of every tree, every leaf. I love when you finally reach your look off point (if any) and you feel this accomplishment. I truly love love love it. but i have hate. when you're at a steep incline and you know that its there for no reason, i hate the abstract thought of what it actually is. just walking in a forrest or along a trail, putting your body through heck, or walking aimlessly down a path that you don't know where you're going to end up. but these hates are what makes me love it more. i love that you still put one foot in front of the other just because you're headed somewhere, even though you don't want to go on after many many km, you still go. and for me that's life. life lived out. putting one foot in front of the other, not knowing what's around the next turn, but you keep moving. For all you know it could be just trees for 10km. Sometimes you hurt, and sometimes you hurt bad, and you get blisters but there is this odd drive inside you to stick it out until the end. i love it.

this fall in my mind space i've been trying to wrap my mind around this thought/dream of community. and i still haven't got it nailed down nor do i hope to. but there are these two quotes that keep mulling around in my head the first by Mother Teresa.
"we can do not great things, only small things with great love.
It is not how much you do bu how much love you put into doing it."

The second by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
"the person who loves their dream of community will destroy
community [ even if their intentions are ever so earnest], but
the person who loves those around them will create community"

So what does that mean? love until it hurts then keep on loving? maybe for some, maybe for others just stop, think about the ones around them. I've been struggling with the concept of a bible study, we sit, open our bibles, drink tea, read a chapter, and discuss, then pray for peoples, test,exams, jobs, etc. goodbye see you next week. Progress? my feelings nada. You sit, talk about a chapter when the person next to you could be struggling with a fight they had with their parents, or someone just so on fire that God showed up in their life today but we so focused on the structure. Now don't get me wrong structure is good and very good sometimes. Like i said i don't nearly have it figured out. But i long for i feel what God has impressed on me as a glimpse of community. A simple meal. People coming together. Eating together and learning from each other. Asking the questions, where did God show up in your life this week? What has been a struggle? What have you learned from your experiences of the week?
Community where ever you are out there. I hope this week i see a little more of you.