full full full.

yesterday was probably one of my most fullest days in a while.

a predicted high of 16-18C degrees outside in March, seriously beautiful. the gang decided to check out a new-to-us trail in Porter's lake. we left early morning, drove out, hiked in. it was just so so great to be outdoor, not constantly hearing traffic and city noises.Crowbar lake trail had some great look offs with a river the trail runs by, quite a few steep inclines which went up and down, up and down, and a lake we came to about 6 km in. Loved it. but enough about the trail, which i loved, did i mention that? so we ate lunch at the lake side then decided to head back. with about half a km to go before we were back to the car we were going down a steep rocky part. i caught a bit of ice under my feet and down i go. then the commotion starts. my elbow split open a bit.nothing serious of course. my lovely friends rinsed it off and i started to get out band-aids. "do you think that needs stitches" the discussion started and proceeded to go back and forth until the band-aids were on. Nah, i'll tough it out. And check it when i get to some place with a mirror. Afterwards we stopped in Dartmouth for some slushies and ice cream. I checked it out. I could probably get stitches but it was so hard to tell, so i ignored it. we then set out to complete this lovely day with a bbq with good friends, yum! my first bbq of the season. we were all pretty tired but ended up watching Willow. which i then fell asleep for at least half of it. We made it back to the city around midnight with a quick stop in at a drug store to get some butterfly closures for my elbow i thought i was set for the night and do some nursing skills to my arm. I was so ready to crawl into my nice warm bed.

just to be safe i asked my nursing friend, so "what are the guidelines behind getting stitches". her reply, "jenni what did you do" i showed her via skype and with lots of medical talk of infections and the wound needs to be approximated. I was convinced to hit up the emerg at 1230, which i wasn't too impressed since i wanted a shower and sleep. we were met by some pretty great paramedics who then had the discussion. "does she need stitches, and would you stitch that?" The mans reply was yes i would stitch that, yet it was 9 hours later since i had my tumble and there is a time limit on giving stitches. 8-12 hours after. But they worked their handsome magic. And after being an hour in the emerg and 6 stitches later i was home and in bed by 2.

All i can say is what a full day.

true believin'

I kind of like this book.

" One of the problems we have in the church today is that we have over-evangelized the world too lightly. We've gotten a lot of people to have supposedly asked Jesus into their hearts, but they are not living with any gratitude. They've got Jesus working for them instead of them doing His work in the world. We've got to start discipling people. Jesus has no hands but my hands and your hands. Jesus has no eyes but our eyes. WE are His workmanship: "As He was, so are we in the world." We're His body. We're all that God has to reach out to the homeless and the poor in our society." - John M. Perkins (Follow me to freedom)

bam. hows that for a kick in the pants.

unsettled ground.

what's next.

the question comes up again and again throughout my day. what are you doing this summer, when you're done school, tomorrow, next monday, in five years, in may, in august... the questions of what, who where fill my time these days. it's quite unsettling. i want so hard to trust, but i want so hard to control. i know all the pieces will fall into place and i know that it will be exactly where God wants me. i just wish i knew sooner then later. i want to plan, make a list of things to do, tasks to complete and then just check them off. the problem is i don't know what to put on my list right now.

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your Love is Strong.

so, who knew a couple of months into the year the recurring theme of stillness would hit back again. i guess my life lesson for today is take it slow. don't rush it. let us fix our eyes upon Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). rest in knowing His grace and the peace that passes all understanding will be with you. i feel that i need to rest and know peace right now.

i kind of like this...

1. O soul, are you weary and troubled?
   No light in the darkness you see?
   There’s light for a look at the Savior,
   And life more abundant and free!
   • Refrain:
     Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
     Look full in His wonderful face,
     And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
     In the light of His glory and grace.
2. Through death into life everlasting
   He passed, and we follow Him there;
   O’er us sin no more hath dominion—
   For more than conquerors we are!

His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell
- Helen H. Lemmel, 1922

to the fools out there.

i feel like i am guilt tripped into writing something worth thinking about here by my own thoughts. trust me, there are many times where i feel like i had something to say yet the words did not form and come out. I have a couple of nuggets of goodness to shoot out to you, and let it soak as i would say.

1. I feel that i go though my days as always not measuring up. And i believe that i am not alone in these feelings of inadequacies. Whether it is when working in the hospital, feeling like i know nothing, and running around with my head cut off. Or trying to encourage someone with my oh so, not so eloquent words. Or even just trying to do what's right. I fail. I admit it. But (sidenote: I love buts, check them out in scripture, they are always paired with truth and something so good) the truth is, the importance doesn't hang on the things i do or say. Here is my first nugget of truth and goodness. About a month ago this section of scripture has stood out to me in huge ways, and is continuing to guide my actions and thoughts.

Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God. 1 Corinthians 1:26-29

I love the picture that Paul describes here. First God chose us. Seriously blows my mind. Second that he uses the foolish. The people who don't have it figured out, who aren't wise so that God's work will be done in that person's live and God will get all the glory since the foolish isn't going to boast in himself.

2. My second thoughts come from Shane Claiborne. proverbs 27:17 - just as iron sharpens iron so a friend sharpens a friend. which then lead me to a section by shane claiborne in his book follow me to freedom. he writes in reference to proverbs 27:17... "that's the kind of thing that happens when you rub and collide with people and their ideas.

Some of my best teachers are my critics. We learn more from people who challenge the things we say than from people who just parrot "amen" to everything we say. We all see through a glass dimly. Our experience forms us, and so when you've had really different lived experience, you arrive at some different conclusions. but that's the gift of being part of a Body... our vision is made more complete when we are able to see through each other's eyes."

3. The renewal of your mind. I know i said this at the beginning of 2010 but am i ever realizing how great and how important it is to partner with God in having your mind daily renewed, refreshed, challenged and cleaned up.

"Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody. Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it." Romans 12:9-19 msg.

Yes, well i don't really have much to say about this, i find this version sums up my attempts at the past two years in living life. Try, try and try again, with God's help i'll eventually get it.

Well i think those are my current thoughts on things bouncing around in my head.

Grace and Peace.